by Kevin Todeschi

In terms of soul development, the primary purpose for an individual to go through the process of meeting self is to provide the soul with present-day circumstance that parallel a previous experience. Although the soul may have lost in a similar situation in the past, in the present a different choice may be made, enabling the individual to learn a valuable lesson in the process. Unfortunately, there are a number of instances in the Cayce files where it appears that the soul repeated the same mistake and failed to learn the lesson. The case of Kitty Howell is one example.

As long as she could remember, Kitty had experienced a difficult relationship with her father. Throughout her childhood, he never seemed to trust her and was always questioning her regarding her activities. That difficulty and feelings of animosity between them did not diminish as Kitty grew older.

It might appear that the situation was the cause of Kitty’s eventual infatuation with an older man. She was twenty; he was forty-three. To make matters worse, the man was also married and happened to be her boss. The two began a love affair, and Kitty felt much guilt over the situation. She claimed she loved the man and wanted to be with him, but he was married. She had been raised in a very religious home, and the experience caused her much inner turmoil. When she wrote Cayce to request a life reading, her letter said: “For months I have felt that I stood at the crossroads, not knowing which road to take or which way to go. I have almost gone completely insane, because this indecision, this not being sure of which is right and which is wrong, is more than the human mind can stand.”

As soon as the reading began, Cayce traced the cause of her problem to her most recent incarnation. At that time, she was married to a man who had reincarnated in the present as her father. Although the two had planned to build a home and family together in the earlier life, Kitty became infatuated with another man. In the present, that individual had returned as her boss. In their most recent past life, the two had also begun an affair, breaking up Kitty’s marriage. Obviously, that situation was the cause of her father’s mistrust of her.

The reading counseled Kitty that a soul problem she needed to overcome was her frequent giving in to self-indulgence and self-gratification. Cayce asked her to ponder the following regarding her current turmoil: “. . . is this for thy soul development, or for the satisfying, gratifying of the moment? The inner self rebels. Why do ye allow self to be so led?” (2960-1) Cayce told her that she possessed real talents as a secretary or as a recorder of statistics and data because of a previous life in Egypt, when she had been a record keeper. Those talents could best be used elsewhere. Her interest in religion was connected to an incarnation at the time of Jesus when Kitty had been associated with some of the holy women and the disciples. She was encouraged to break off the affair and to begin to place some of her energies into focusing upon the needs of others; by doing so, she would soon find the relationship she sought.

Even after the advice had been given, Kitty asked whether her boss’s intentions were sincere toward her; the response was short: “You are just another ‘affair.’ Will ye accept, will ye reject, the truth?”

According to the reports on file, one of Kitty’s aunts stated that her niece tried to break off the affair and was subsequently fired. Rather than being depressed, Kitty mentioned her relief that the whole situation was over. However, the pull between Kitty and her boss eventually won out. A short time later, the two ran off to California together, repeating the same pattern that was supposed to have been overcome in the present. Unfortunately, no follow-up regarding the lives of any of the individuals concerned is on file.

A more positive outcome regarding a soul overcoming a past life inclination is contained in the account of Abigail Winters. Abigail was born into a family of great wealth and appeared to have everything. Her advantages were short-lived, however, because her father went bankrupt in the 1930s in a four million dollar real estate deal. Almost overnight the family went from great wealth and a magnificent home to “illness, poverty, and misery” and a poor hovel that they called home. Although extremely creative and intelligent, Abigail was not a pretty child, by her own admission, subjecting her to much cruelty at school and at home. In fact, home was the source of Abigail’s greatest challenge, in the form of her mother.

By all accounts, Abigail’s mother did not make a successful transition from wealth to poverty. She had been raised in a 120 room mansion and had married wealth, but was now forced to survive from one day to the next. The stress was taken out on Abigail, who remembers often being told, “You should have never been born,” and “You would be better off dead.” Those comments were taken to heart, leading Abigail to make six suicide attempts between the ages of eight and fifteen. Perhaps because of her focus on suicide, Abigail often imagined that she had killed herself in a previous life.

Thankfully, at fifteen, Abigail’s looks transformed, and she grew into a very attractive young woman. This transformation caused her mother a great deal of jealousy. When boys started asking Abigail out, her mother either put down anyone who showed an interest or asked, “Why would he be interested in you?” When Abigail turned seventeen and her father died, she left home and went through a series of careers as a showgirl, a model, a lounge pianist, and an “extra” in several movies. She had a series of failed relationships, including two divorces. Her life problems caused her again to give a great deal of thought to suicide.

Finally, in the midst of yet another bad relationship, Abigail took too many sleeping pills when her lover informed her that he was seeing an old flame. That night she slipped and fell on a scissors, which became embedded in her knee. After much bleeding, she passed out and was later found and taken to the hospital. Nearly dead, she was informed that she had severed a nerve in her leg. After a series of operations and complications, including gangrene, her foot turned black and doctors recommended amputation. Abigail just couldn’t take any more difficulties. She decided that she would rather be dead than face the amputation. While still in the hospital, she attempted to hang herself in the bathroom, using a strong belt looped over the ceiling’s water pipes. After she hung herself, she apparently passed out, because the next thing she remembered was walking through a library:

“I was in a vast, sunlit library, without a ceiling but with a blinding white light coming from above. Shelves of books, five levels in height, stretched into the distance, yet the room seemed circular for I had to stand in the center. I was aware of ancient “monks” in white robes (no hoods) and especially one who looked like Father Time, with a long white beard and I think a rope sash. He rose up to get my book from the third level. I wasn’t allowed to see in it, read it, or know its contents.

“After reading in it, he closed the book and addressed me. I watched him carefully to see his reaction upon reading so that could clue me a bit on the contents. His expression changed, sobered, and became heavy and sad. He was kind and gentle. He gave me instructions and knowledge telepathically, some of which I only remembered when it came true . . . Aloud, he said one thing, quiet and deep: ‘You know that is not the way!’

“Oh, yes, I knew that and had forgotten it! I felt stupid and ashamed, though he did not cause me to; it was my own actions I was facing. His kindness told me that he understood my worries. I was given the knowledge that I would be able to keep my foot and that it would soon get well with no limp. I would have twenty years of pain with it, then none. I would have lots more turmoil and misery, for which I’d be even more justified to feel suicidal, but that I must not do it again! I agreed and promised. [I learned that] this was the last time they’d save me from an attempt, which they had done many times before. Also I’d been a suicide in the life just past. I know this. I queried, ‘My memory of of jumping out of a window in Natchez on New Year’s Eve 1899?’ Yes, it was authentic . . .”

Shortly after, Abigail found herself conscious again in the hospital bathroom. The belt appeared as though it had been sliced through. Her neck was bruised, torn, and sore but she was alive. The next day her attempt was discovered; that same day she forbade the doctors to amputate her foot.

True to her visionary experience, the color returned to her foot, and it was not amputated. Eventually she was released from the hospital. Just as had been prophesied by the old monk, Abigail’s life contained a great many challenges and difficulties. In all, she had three marriages and thirteen engagements. She had problems with bankruptcy, illnesses, relationships, and her mother, who lived to be ninety-six. On the positive side, she had a daughter and gained some prominence as a writer and society columnist. However, her life had not been easy.

Now in her sixties, Abigail is convinced that a lifetime of challenges has been her opportunity to “stick it out” and overcome the suicidal urge that had carried over from her past. Her life experiences have provided her with much opportunity for spiritual growth. She has overcome the suicidal urge and has worked through many of her own fears regarding intimacy. She has also continued to work on her resentment toward her mother—by her own admission, a lesson she’s only accomplished “seventy-five percent.” Although she’s overcome much, including the suicidal urge and a variety of fears regarding being broke, homeless, or seriously ill, she considers herself a work still in progress. As long as she’s alive, she’s convinced that there is more to learn.

What if, like Abigail, each of us were a work in progress? What if each of us were given a personally designed curriculum to help us become all that we were meant to be? What if this curriculum had to be repeated until it was learned? What if everything we sent out came back to us? What if all of our thoughts, words, and actions became the basis for soul lessons and soul strengths that we chose to encounter later on? What if life really were about learning?

Excerpt from Edgar Cayce On Mastering Your Spiritual Growth

See Part I here. See Part II here.